If You Don't Go Then I'm Not Sorry

If you don’t go then I’m not sorry

I’ve been waiting for you but

It’s all going to fall apart still

I tell myself it’s all going to be different

This time, I won’t be myself

Maybe I shouldn’t listen to myself

The lies that just keep coming

But not to you, to you I’ll tell the truth

That’s a lie.

If you don’t go then I’m not sorry

Because you had your chance

The universe didn’t need this

Didn’t need our meeting to feel complete

And neither do I

Because I’m over here
     Over you
          Over them all

Not feeling sorry

For all the lies I’m about to tell you

When all I want

Is for you to know the truth about me.

If you don’t go then I’m not sorry

And if you stay we’re both doing this

We didn’t have to, we agree?

When I Was Drinking (Hem)

When I was drinking
When I was with you
Living it up when the rent was due
With nothing and no one to live up to
You and me dying on the vine
Holding hands and drinking wine
Now I'm not the same girl I left behind with you
Twelve bars behind us
And twelve bars to go
Bottles of beer lined up in a row
One for each hour you didn't show
You and me dying everyday
Getting high just to pass away
But that's not the reason I couldn't stay with you
Now I am sober
Now I'm alone
Three years have gone by since you have gone
Letting you go
Letting me go on
But I'll raise a glass now to you and me
To lift me higher so I can see
Which of these blessings are killing me